The rich get richer
The torturous pre-shot routine of Kevin Na at the Players’ Championship has brought the pace of play taken by Tour pros into the news again – but don’t expect anything to change, especially in America. The last twoball of the final round – Na and Zach Johnson – took four-and-a-quarter hours to complete their round. That’s close to a quarter of an hour per hole. Na was put on the clock in the third round and will receive a financial penalty for slow play, but we’ll never know what it was because the Tour doesn’t publicise such things. In fact it’s likely to be between $5,000 and $20,000 but considering that Na slipped down the leaderboard quicker than a McDonald’s hamburger disappears down John Daly’s neck, and still made nearly $300,000 for tied 7th, I doubt he’ll be too distressed. When it was pointed out to Tour commissioner Tim Finchem that what happens in the pro game always filters through to amateurs he said: ‘Anything we can do from a communications standpoint to encourage people playing faster, we will do. But clubs have got to take the initiative to drive play.’ I translate this to mean: ‘It’s nothing to do with us if amateurs take too long.’ As a piece of bureaucratic buck passing it stands alongside Pontius Pilate washing his hands when the mob demanded that Jesus Christ be crucified.

But whenever we consider any pro Tours and their behaviour, or in this case, continued inactivity, we need to remind ourselves that various Tours around the world exist for the benefit and financial rewards of its members. The PGA Tour’s own website says: ‘The mission of the PGA Tour is to expand domestically and internationally to substantially increase player financial benefits while maintaining its commitment to the integrity of the game,’ (my italics). Obviously if the second part of that ambition, to promote the integrity of the game, is in contradiction to the first part, to make rich people considerably richer, then it can be abandoned.

Some Guys Have all the Luck
And if that hasn’t vented your spleen of its accumulated bile, direct a little of it towards Rhein Gibson, a 26-year-old Australian pro currently plying his trade on the Golfweek National Pro Tour. According to the magazine that is the title sponsor of that Tour, on May 19th Gibson played the 6,698-yard par-71 River Oaks Golf Club in a total of 55 strokes, or 16-under par. He started slowly with two pars, going out in a modest 29, before blitzing the back nine in 26. In total he made four pars, 12 birdies and two eagles. The round has provisionally been recorded as a new world record and the modest Gibson said: ‘I just kind of got hot I guess and every putt I hit went in.’

He’s a 26-year-old pro golfer who is self-effacing and, while he may have fallen out of the ugly tree he doesn’t appear to have hit too many branches on the way down, and has just shot 55 – is there any reason not to hate him? Oh, and at the Madeira Islands Open, Carlos Del Moral set a new Tour record by completing a round of golf with just 20 putts. In the same event, Shiv Kapur made his own entry into the record books by hitting a drive that was officially measured at 442 yards, just 11 yards short of the green on a downhill par five hole. Del Moral finished tied fourth while Kapur, who only managed to par the hole on which he hit that monstrous drive, was tied 26th. Serves him right.

Broadcast news

A bit of news that should bother us all is that the BBC is losing the rights to cover all golf except the Open and two days of The Masters. It recently showed the BMW PGA from Wentworth but that’s going, and so too the Barclays Scottish Open from Castle Stuart. More worryingly, at a press conference a few weeks ago, Peter Dawson, chief executive of the R&A, said of the Beeb: ‘They have to keep up with the advances in technology in broadcasting, and they know we’ve got our eye on that for sure.’ The BBC’s current contract to screen The Open runs until 2016 but I interpret Dawson’s words to mean, in effect: If you’re not regularly showing golf, you cannot keep up to date with how to best do it.’ And the result of that would be to lose the contract. It is a significant shot across the bows but one wonders if the BBC has the financial muscle any more to respond.

Quote of the Week:
Be brave if you lose and meek if you win.
Harvey Penick

With the Grace of God
At what was once regarded as the tender age of 23, Branden Grace has started his professional golf career with the results: Tied 14th, won, won – which surpasses even the explosive entry of Tiger Woods into the paid ranks. And while I am genuinely delighted for the lad, who must feel as if he has solved Fermatt’s Theorum at the first time of asking (the theorum, incidentally, states that: No three positive integers a, b, and c can satisfy the equation an + bn = cn for any integer value of n greater than two, and was unsolved for 358 years. Mathematics Ed), I hope he doesn’t get too carried with this flush of success. The history of the pro game is littered with the corpses of hot young tyros who initially laid waste to everything before them but whose light burned very brightly but for a hugely disappointing amount of time. And while I loathe the idea of becoming what my mother described as a Job’s comforter – the sort of person who tries to cheer up his friend in hospital, who has had a leg amputated, by pointing out that the man in the next bed wants to buy his slipper – I do hope that Branden has enough insight to recognise that a fabulous start doesn’t always lead to a wondrous finish.

People like Nick Dougherty, Marc Warren, Steve Webster, Chad Campbell, Kirk Triplett, Steve Flesch and Ty Tryone were all hailed as great prospects when they tasted early success but they now languish so far down the world rankings that even the thought of breaking into the top-100, as Branden Grace has just done, must seem an unobtainable fantasy, on a par with bedding Thandie Newton, Penelope Cruz and Jennifer Aniston on the same night, or even at the same time.

I offer such apparently pessimistic thoughts to young Mr Grace, as I like to think of him, for two reasons. First, his two victories have come in his native South Africa, which is a slightly different proposition to winning when a large percentage of the world’s best players are lined up against you. Second, those initial successes can come awfully easily, while subsequent victories, once you come down from cloud nine, can be elusive, to say the least. I truly hope that this apparently likeable and clearly talented young man goes on to ever greater achievements but, while it is important to savour his victories, he also needs to be mindful that he is just at the start of a long and arduous road.

Three cheers for the big man
Paul Lawrie is one of the good guys. And while we are lucky in golf with the quality of its protagonists (compare the behaviour of any pro golfer to someone like Mario Balotelli, to pick just one Premiership footballer at random), some manage to elevate the profession of pro golf even higher still. Paul Lawrie is one such man. He remains firmly grounded in the Aberdeen location in which he grew up and learned to play the game so well, and while many golfers are committed to ploughing much of their energy back into the game that has given them so much, Lawrie does it with an enthusiasm and vigour that few of his peerrs can match.

Eleven years ago he founded the Paul Lawrie Foundation and now comes the news that this Foundation is to be the new sponsor of the Scottish Boys Championship. One of the beneficiaries of Lawrie’s mentorship over the years is David Law, who won that championship in 2009, has subsequently turned pro and said: ‘Personally, Paul has helped me out a lot, not just financially but it’s also the time he has got for me. Whenever I’m struggling with my game, he’s at the other end of the phone for me, even if he is abroad. For sponsorship and other things like that, he has been terrific.’

Lawrie has never been the easiest interview, not because he is in any way ill-mannered but because his natural shyness and acute sense of privacy means that he finds it difficult to talk about himself. And yet despite this he is always approachable, courteous and forthcoming. He has also had to endure seemingly never-ending remarks to the effect that he didn’t win the 1999 Open Championship but Jean Van de Velde lost it, which ignores the fact that, over one of the most brutal Open layouts ever seen, he shot a matchless 67 on the last day and then demonstrated his talent in a superb four-hole playoff, in which he birdied the last two holes at Carnoustie, among the most difficult of any in the world, having been sat in the clubhouse for over two hours. Paul has won six times on the European Tour, which elevates him well above the standard of journeyman, or of a fluke major winner, and at the beginning of this season has started to find some real form, especially with the putter. If there is any justice in the world he will win several more times and enhance his status as one of the best golfers Scotland has produced.

Tip from Paul
I was lucky enough to attend a clinic that Paul hosted a few years ago at Gleneagles and one of the things he said has stayed with me ever since, and I think is excellent advice for we amateurs. He said that the transition from backswing to downswing should never feel like you’re hitting the ball but simply be as smooth a transition as possible, with the feeling that you’re gradually accelerating. And when your game gets stuck with a succession of bad shots, forget all about technique and just think about rhythm.

Quote of the week
The next time you see a good player stalking backward and forwards on the green, do not be led away by the idea that he is especially painstaking, but rather pity him for a nervous individual who is putting off the evil moment as long as he possibly can
Ted Ray

With thanks to Richard W. from Tavistock.  And his spaniel of course.

Early skirmishes
Those of you old enough to remember (and that’s a fast dwindling group) or, more likely, with some knowledge of 20th century history, will know that in the first six months after we opened hostilities with Germany in 1939 there was a period called the Phoney War. After the drama of announcing our intention to take on the Hun, nothing much happened but there remained a sense of anticipation. A stupid analogy, I know, but the start of a new golf season always reminds me of those events of more than 70 years ago because, despite all the expectations and hopes we are presented with – well, not very much. On the European Tour we have a few tournaments in South Africa, what used to be called the Sunshine Tour but, with the greatest respect, the fields are not representative of the best players in the world. Of course South Africa has some fine golfers but it does not have great strength in depth, which is why people like Louis Ooosthuizen and Charl Schwartzel (and before them Retief Goosen and Ernie Els) tend to become serial winners on home turf. And the US Tour, meanwhile, takes itself to Hawaii for a few weeks during which the players have a wonderful time, I’m sure, but the quality of opposition they face (and the courses over which they play), while worthy, is not the stiffest competition they will meet during the season.

You will search the leaderboards in vain for names like Luke Donald, Lee Westwood, Rory McIlroy, Martin Kaymer and Adam Scott – the top-five in the world as I write, and there is equally no trace of lower-ranked but marquee names such as Tiger Woods, Phil Mickelson, Ian Poulter, Graeme McDowell or Sergio Garcia. On the other side of the Atlantic they know that things don’t really get going until the Tour hits the US mainland, and over here it’s the Middle East desert swing that brings out the big guns. In the meantime, we at least have some pro golf to watch after the Christmas and New Year shutdown but it’s not quite the same.

Worrying trend?
And although the world’s two main golf Tours have started, in a fashion, neither the European Senior Tour, nor the LPGA Tour, has yet published their 2012 schedule, which must be worrying, to say the least. The Ladies European Tour kicks off with the Gold Coast RACV Australian Ladies Masters; from February 2-5 but that’s a co-sanctioned event, as are the few immediately following, and the LET doesn’t really get going until March 22 with the Lalla Meryem Cup in Morocco. The Tour’s website does say there is a ‘potential event’ on March 1-4 but that just means that there’s still a big hole in the schedule.
There is no doubt feverish activity going on right now to attract more sponsors and pad out what is looking like a rather thin calendar of events but to be still looking to fill a gap that is only eight weeks away sends out a less than positive message.

Crystal-ball gazing
It is inevitable at this time of year to turn our thoughts to the season ahead, especially as it’s a Ryder Cup year, and try to imagine what the next 12 months will bring to us golfers. So let’s start with Mr Ryder’s biennial competition, which it pains me to say, I think will be won by team USA. In the post-Celtic Manor euphoria of a dramatic win, we can perhaps forget just how close it was in 2010 and how reliant we were on Graeme McDowell’s intestinal fortitude coming down the stretch, and a crucial mistake by his opponent. The reality is that the competition has become so close and competitive that home advantage is more and more becoming the pivotal factor.

In women’s golf, Yani Tseng will continue to dominate – she’s too good, too young for the rest – and Lexi Thompson, an astonishingly mature teenager who pounds the ball for miles, will catch the imagination of fans everywhere, and win in the process.

Sadly I think that Phil Mickelson’s decline will continue and that Luke Donald will come nowhere near emulating his exploits of 2011, simply because they were so remarkable that they cannot be sustained. Tiger will win again and be in the frame for at least a couple of majors but I don’t think he will win one, although if he is to threaten Jack’s record (and winning those last four to tie the great man will be as difficult as winning the first 14) he needs to strike soon.

As for Lee Westwood, to get that major bogey off his back he just needs one of the big four events to coincide with the week in which his putter behaves itself and if he doesn’t lift a major in 2012, I fear he never will.

Quote of the Week
The great anxiety of the moderate player when making his stroke is to get the ball properly lofted, and in some obstinate cases it seems to take several seasons of experience to convince him completely that the club has been specifically made for the purpose and, if fairly used, is quite accurate
Harry Vardon

“This year the weather was kinder than last year as regards playing golf. Last year my balls froze. It’s not easy playing with frozen balls.

However, it did give me lots of excuses for my appalling play that Xmas . Balls bounced everywhere because of the hard ground or disappeared completely into snow drifts or failed to even reach the temporary greens  (terrible at the best of times).

Playing off of rubber mats is a joke if you’re six foot three as your legs (and frozen balls) have to be on the ground whilst your little white ball is balanced on some horrible piece of miniature rubber tubing. It’s also too cold to grip the club properly.

There was also the wind (read into that what you will).

The only thing that didn’t mind the elements was my GoKart.

So, I returned happy after the “game” knowing that there were many reasons for losing so many balls , playing to 12 over my handicap and having frozen balls.

This year though, not so good – the weather has been mild.

No snow.
No ice.
No frozen ground.
No frozen balls.

…and yet I played the same. 12 over my handicap, lost loads of balls, swore a lot and then of course , there was the wind (read into that what you will).

I’m going out again tomorrow. Thank heavens I got loads of balls for Xmas .
My GoKart likes mild weather too.
I reckon that’s because the GoKart doesn’t have frozen balls to hinder it.

Good Winter Slogan that; “GoKart…the only electric trolley that can’t freeze your balls”.